I sent an email to our doctor asking what I needed to do, to transfer another embryo. It feels euphoric and I know it’s not something that we are ready for at this exact moment…but I have been having these strong pulls on my heart and my conscience, that it’s something I need to do.

I went away for a girls weekend to celebrate a bachelorette weekend, which was absolutely incredible. I needed time for me, to lose the schedule, lose the sense of putting myself last, stay up until 3 AM and enjoyyyyyyy myself. However, smack dab in the middle of this trip was a beer festival that included images back, to back, to back of children playing in the small river at the festival; fathers carrying their babies in their ergo baby carrier; and mothers taking photos of their little ones playing. I had no idea how strongly I would feel in that moment, when my babies weren’t with me, my husband was nowhere near, and I was just the designated driver with my girls at this festival of procreation.

In addition to this festival, I was surrounded by women just a bit younger than me, who were married and interested in the concept of children, labor, c-section and of course IVF. I was the only one at the bachelorette weekend who had gone through IVF, and naturally there were questions. I am a completely open book on the topic and answered everything as fully and completely as I could. I had no idea that the conversations of IVF, coupled with the beautiful babies being carried around by their daddies at the festival, would strike me like a lightening bolt!

Sunday came, and it was time to pack up and make the 3 hour drive home. One of my close friends rode with me, and we began talking about our families, life as a mom, and what the future would holds far as having more babies or not. A coworker once told me that when you are finished having children, it’s a hard “no”, but if you’re not done, you’re a bit wishy washy. I am wishy washy!!! I am nowhere near a “no”.

I went back to work on Monday and sent an email to my doctor asking what I am looking at if I want to transfer another embryo. I hadn’t really even clued Rick in on how serious I was…but I had learned over the past 17 years of our relationship that I needed to have a plan before approaching him with my crazy ideas. So, I emailed. My questions were

1. How long will the process take?
2. Will I be on injections again?
3. What types of procedures will I be facing?

My doctor responded with the following answers

1. 2-4 months depending on my test results as we work through the process
2. Yes there will be injections, but fewer than before
3. Blood tests, hysteroscopy, ultrasound and trial embryo transfer

He ended the email with the following valediction…

Smiling loudly,

Dr. Greene

I too was smiling loudly. We have much to think about.