With my five healthy embryos safely waiting for me in the freezer, I worked on getting my body ready for transfer. I had two doctors appointments scheduled in the same day. The first appointment was for a Doppler ultrasound, which is a machine that emits sound waves into the uterus, to “view” the blood flow through the arteries in my uterus. The Doppler machine displays vibrant colors of blue, green, and red, which looked like weather patterns on the evening news. The technician turned a dial to listen to the blood flow in my uterus. She worked on the left side first and told me everything looked very good. She then examined the right side. The sound of blood flow was not as loud as the left side, and the colors on the screen were not as vibrant, and I began to feel nervous that something was wrong. The technician said the right side looked great too. Thank you Jesus!

The second exam was a hysteroscopy. I had to change exam rooms, so the Doppler technician asked if I was comfortable wrapping the paper sheet around myself and going across the hall, or if I preferred to get dressed and then change rooms. The paper sheet sounded good to me! I carefully wrapped the paper sheet around the lower half of my body and shimmied across the hall to the next exam room. I noticed a crazy looking exam chair in this room, that looked like it belonged in a Frankenstein movie. The nurse came in moments later and explained to me what we would be doing. It sounded so similar to the Fem Vue exam I had months before, to test if my Fallopian tubes were open. I remember how painful that exam was, so I asked the nurse if the pain level was going to be similar here. She said some women feel less pain, and some feel more. I didn’t have any additional questions, so the nurse left to get the doctor. As soon as the door closed, I grabbed three tissues from the box next to me and began to cry. Rick saw my tears and asked with concern, “what happened, honey?” “Why are you crying?” I could barely speak, but I croaked out, “I’m just scared because I know it’s going to hurt…” He rubbed my back and assured me I could do this and it would be over soon.

The doctor came in and introduced herself, quickly went over the procedure again (these are my terms, not hers).

1. We will open your vagina with the metal duck (also known as a speculum)
2. We will clean your cervix lining with a special soap
3. We will then spray your vagina with a numbing agent
4. We will dilate your cervix, which will hurt
5. We will then insert a gigantic scope, that might make your husband blush
6. Saline will then be flushed into your uterus
7. We will take pictures of the inside of your uterus

Okay, I was ready. The doctor pressed a button and the Frankenstein chair began to move back until I was laying down. Then the portion of the chair I was sitting on, dropped out. The doctor said the chair was designed to have that part drop automatically so patients didn’t have to scoot down into position…clever. Saving us women from scooting down when we are completely exposed. The tears began to come and I couldn’t help myself in this moment. The procedure began, I got through step one, step two was uncomfortable, then she sprayed me with numbing spray. It felt like I was being sprayed with canned air, the type we have at the office to clean our keyboards. Numbing my ass! Nothing was numb.. Nothing!! Now my vagina is just cold! Now on to step four. My cervix began to dilate and I was in so much pain. I squeezed Rick’s hand as hard as I could. The doctor told me to relax my legs. I couldn’t breathe. The doctor stopped and poked her head up at me and said, “if we need to stop for a minute, we can. We don’t want to hurt you.” I felt like screaming for her to get back to work and to stop talking to me, but I could only croak out a “no, I’m good.” She started again and we were on to step five. I couldn’t breathe. This hurt so much and I began squeezing harder. The nurse looked at me and said, “you have to breathe. It hurts worse if you don’t breathe.” Rick began coaching me to breathe, but all I could get out were quick bursts of air, and quick inhales. The doctor informed us that she was beginning the saline. I felt an enormous amount of pressure and let out a whimper and an “ouch”. Rick told me to squeeze harder and breathe. I was trying so hard to follow direction, but it felt impossible to control my body when I was in this much pain and shock. “Squeeze harder. Breathe babe” The machine began to hum and then the sound of a printer. The doctor was taking photos. I looked over at the screen and the light on the end of the probe in my cervix lit up and we were looking at my Fallopian tubes and my uterus. Rick was fascinated by the images we were looking at. The machine began to hum again, and the doctor told us she was finished. The saline turned off, the tools began to come out, and the chair was moved into it’s original position. I was completely disoriented, but we began to go over our results. The first two photos were of my Fallopian tubes, which were open and clear. The next photo was of my uterus, which was free of fibroid’s, polyps or abnormalities. We had a uterus that was in good condition and ready to hold a baby. All of the pain was worth it.

Rick helped me get dressed and we had a moment of feeling fortunate and blessed for another successful milestone through our IVF journey.

Thank you, Jesus!

Image thanks to